Monday, November 12, 2012

Monday Interview Series: Rapunzel

Today, I'm up in a tall tower speaking with a lovely young lady with the longest hair I've ever seen. Yes, that's right, I'm visiting with Rapunzel.


Greg:  Hi Rapunzel. Thanks for inviting me to spend some time with you.

Rapunzel:  It's my pleasure. I never get visitors here, except for Dame Gothel, and she's no fun. She says she's my mother, but we don't look anything alike. Her hair's way too short, for one thing. I wish I could get out of this tower and see the world. What's it like outside?

Greg:  Some parts of it are quite nice, but there are other parts that you'd do well to stay away from. So I take it you're not happy in your tower?

Rapunzel:  Oh it's not so bad. I've got cable, my laptop and my smartphone. 

Greg:  Really? I'm surprised Dame Gothel lets you communicate with the outside world.

Rapunzel:  She doesn't mind because she monitors my e-mails and won't let me disclose my location. But I can only update my blog and play Angry Birds so many times before it becomes tedious. That's why I advertised for a prince.

Greg:  You, what?


Rapunzel:  I advertised for a prince. I thought that maybe I could hire one to rescue me. I looked on Ebay, but there weren't any available, except one. Some chick named Snow White put in a bid for him at the last second and stole him from me. Oh well, he probably wasn't a real prince. He said his name was Prince Charming. I mean, imagine. That couldn't have been his real name.

Anyhow, I put my photo up on Match.com, so I'm expecting a prince to get in touch with me any day. Once I get a response, I'll post my location on Google Maps and wait for him to come get me.

Greg:  Oh I doubt your tower would show up there.

Rapunzel:  It'll show up. Just last month, the Google Maps camera car passed right by here. The picture is up, I checked it yesterday.

Greg:  You certainly seem to have your plans all laid out. It seems like there's only one small problem.

Rapunzel:  Oh, what's that?

Greg:  Dame Gothel! Won't she be just a little bit put out if you try to escape from the tower?

Rapunzel:  Escape? Why would I want to escape?

Greg:  Isn't that what all this prince business is about, to get out of the tower?

Rapunzel:  Oh, I can see you don't understand. No, I don't want to escape, I just want to go out on a date or two. I've got everything I need here, I just need to get out every once in a while. I want to go to a real restaurant. All I can ever get is pizza or Chinese, and by the time I pull it up with my hair and lower the money, it's cold. 

Then there's shopping. I'm tired of doing it online. I want to go to a store and, you know, try stuff on. Shopping for clothes online stinks. If I find something that's cute and order it, lots of times it looks awful on me. It's hard to find outfits that aren't overpowered by long hair. So then I have to send it back.

Greg:  Well good luck with your search. I hope you find someone to take you out.

Rapunzel:  Actually, you have a car, don't you? I hear there's a sale at Penny's. You could take me and we could be back by the time Dame Gothel gets here. I'll need help getting the bags and boxes hidden. Don't worry, I'll pay for the gas.

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